Self Improvement - Getting to grips with your anger.

In order to take control of your anger, you firstly need to understand it. It is normal to experience anger but problems occur if it isn't managed in the right way. Both physical and emotional changes causing big surges in energy to release adrenaline and other chemicals through your body are from were anger results. Highly charged super elite athletes experience and release their anger through their sports.



Having a release for anger is therefore of the utmost importance. The largest majority of people do not have the same release outlet as do the super elite sporting stars. Anger therefore can be taken out on other people or objects that are nearby at the point in time that the anger has to be released. Quite often, releasing anger on objects, such as hitting a wall, can cause self harm.



So, anger has to be released but in a controlled form. Suppressing this anger release for a future point in time can cause eventual overreaction leading to frustration and shame. Frustration and shame should not however be reflected upon for too long however as

anger is a natural response to feeling attacked, injured or violated. All humans experience anger at some point in time, it’s part of what we all are.



Survival, strength, injustice are all instances of us gaining strength from being angry. So anger is not either all bad or good, but it can be frightening. Recognition of it, when you are feeling angry, is much healthier. Trying then to express it directly in words, not in violent action benefits relationships and self-esteem, allows fuller and richer communication and intimacy, defuses tensions before they get to 'explosion' point and helps to keep people physically and mentally healthy.



So,

Rule 1. Recognise that you are angry, count to ten and follow Rule 2.

Rule 2. Talk to someone calmly about your reasons for being angry.

Rule 3. Prepare yourself to listen.



In your conversations, concentrate on being assertive, and not aggressive, if you feel aggrieved in anyway. You should not need to squash your feelings by just being assertive.



Would you say that you are feeling irritable and weak. Is this part of the reason why you are getting angry a lot of the time? If so, then look to your diet and maybe the amount, or lack, of exercise you do. Exercise particularly increases our self-esteem, as well as our fitness and muscle tone. The more vigorous any physical exercise is, the more steam we let off and will release built up tension from the body.



Rule 4. Always have it in the forefront of your mind to stop and think, if at all possible! Hold your breath and count to ten before you say anything.

Rule 5. If you still then think that you are unlikely to control your anger, turn around and walk away from the situation.

If it has been a one to one heated situation, try to slow yourself down and listen to the other person – don’t rush in and say the first thing that comes to mind.



Don’t jump to conclusions about what the other person(s) is(are) saying or thinking; ask them to tell you more about what they are trying today. Don’t try to mind-read. Sometimes people have long held views about themselves that are very self critical – for example "I’m not a very loveable person" or "I’m not a very clever person". These beliefs are often a product of past experiences, especially if there has been a lot of anger, criticism or violence in our lives. The beliefs hold no truth for the present time and it helps to stop this self criticism. These beliefs can make you more sensitive and this in turn may lead to anger towards yourself or others. Try not to knock yourself down, look at the good things about yourself not the bad, don’t stick with negative beliefs that are there because of unhappy times in your past.



Recognise your angry thoughts and begin to challenge them. Challenge any unhelpful thoughts or beliefs that don’t allow you to let go of anger. Use relaxation and other ways to control the physical symptoms of anger. Understand and control angry behaviour, try new calmer actions. Improve communication and problem solving skills.



Your G.P. is the best person to talk to first. Your GP may suggest a talking treatment or tablets or both. He or she may suggest you see a mental health worker who can offer expert help with your problems.



If you feel so distressed that you have thoughts of harming yourself or you feel you are at risk of harming others, then visit your doctor as soon as possible and explain to him or her how you are feeling.



The only way to control anger and realise your dreams is to want self improvement in your life. Health, fitness and wealth are the most usual self improvement desires that people have. These desires are achievable more easily if you do learn to control that anger. My site is full of suggestions and plans that can help guide you towards fulfilment of those dreams. Remember, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.



Just click the link NOW to get started.



http://www.wealthandfitnessonline.com